The Erin Approach

12 years ago on this very day, I was 18-years-old, attending the funeral of my best friend, then immediately putting on "my happy face" and heading to my senior prom. What an unforgettable, bittersweet memory. One never just "gets over it" when a curve ball like that gets hurled at you, you just "get through it." Time and Erin's legacy both have taught me to embrace life and to love life. At age 30, I finally have peace and have full understanding about what happened. I have now learned to fully cope with what happened, adapt to its affect on my life at certain times, and to celebrate the good in life, do not dwell on the bad. Erin's legacy lives on through laughter, love, and fellowship with family and friends. Over time, I have taken a solemn vow to become more like her and it has been working.

I met a 25-year-old coffee enthusiast at Bottle Shop in Dallas back in late March of 2013. He was nice, charming, and had an incredible drive for adventure in life. We became friends only after a few short hours of conversation. It felt like I had known him for years. He spoke of dreams to one day own and operate his own shop. After many months of tirelessly planning and working, he turned his dream into a reality and now owns a shop in Dallas. He makes a damn good cup of coffee and cooks up some really tasty food.

I would say a good four years ago I met a "frat boy" through my very best friend. (He went from "frat boy" to down-to-earth, funny guy.) He was attending school, aspiring to become a Doctor. We rarely got to spend time with him, as he was always busy with studies and clinic duty. Today was his graduation and he was presented with the most amazing gift from his parents. He received a Ferrari torso sculpture, sculpted from Ferrari parts. I do not know much, if any, about cars, especially foreign, luxury cars, but I do know this: Ferrari makes one hell of a machine. Much time, energy, patience, and care are put into making said machine. Same goes for him and he is now a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine.

It is such an incredibly surreal, happy feeling to watch some of the best people in your life work so hard, dedicating their everything towards goals and succeeding. The sheer joy they portray once they succeed is a really cool expression to experience first hand; and knowing that I had a small part in their success makes me happy. It is people like them who make me believe in miracles and to bust your ass working for what you truly desire in life. If I had not taken "the Erin approach" as I call it (loving, laughter, fellowship), then I never would have met such inspirational individuals. Funny how life plays out.

12 Years Apart

12 years ago, on May 10, Erin MacKenzie Peck (age 18) was killed by a drunk driver. The DD was a fourth repeat offender, charged with manslaughter, and was slapped with a measly 13 year prison sentence, only of which seven or eight years was served. The man now wears an ankle bracelet and reports to a PO. He never served full term.

The first 10 years of the 12, I harbored strong feelings of rage, fury, confusion, and depression. I was all over the place, emotion wise. I struggled with grappling the idea my best friend was no longer with us; she was gone forever. I even questioned God, "Why would you take someone so precious from us so soon?"

I was never one to believe in visitors, you know the spirits that visit you after they pass, until about a year or two ago. I had just been terminated from a job and was figuring out a life plan. I was really missing Erin at that point, desperate to see her and to hear her voice, desperate for one of her warm hugs, desperate for her laughter, and her advice. I was laying in bed one night just bawling my eyes out. This white, ghostly-type object appeared before me that looked honestly like Jesus at first. This voice calmly and warmly said, "It is okay. It will all be okay." At that point, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I replied, "It will? How? Show me." That is when Erin appeared before me. She looked great, happy, well-rested and looked like she did the last time I saw her. She told me that everything would be just fine and not to worry. She told me, "I am happy. You do not have to worry about me. It is I who is worried for you. You are not yourself. Do not worry, I am here. I am always here."

Shortly after she visited, I went to Austin to see some friends. I was at the Spiderhouse ballroom for a show called Mortified. My friend's sister, along with a couple of other people, would stand up on stage and read their old diary entries. Christian Ryan Criswell was one of the readers. This girl looked and sounded EXACTLY like Erin. Even their diary entries were incredibly similar. I decided then and there I had to meet her and befriend her. Erin was exactly right, she is always here. Ryan is her twin (they even have the same birthdays) and I am so thankful she was placed in my life. Erin is Ryan, is every ladybug I encounter, and is every Gerber Daisy I encounter.

12 years now, Erin's remains have resided in Houston. On Tuesday, May 6th, she will finally be moving back home and residing in Dallas (details on that later.) It has been way too long since I have seen you, lil Weasel. I think of everything we could do together for our reunion if you were still here with us. We would go drink coffee, we would go to the park, we would go to the movies, go shopping, and just go drive around like we did back in the day. You were in my car with me the other day, my glove box kept falling open. At one point I laughed so hard I nearly drove up on the curb. I miss you every single day, but thank you for always being with me. I love you to the moon and back.

Fo Sheezy I'm Wheezy

May is Cystic Fibrosis awareness month. What is Cystic Fibrosis? Well, I am glad you asked!

Cystic Fibrosis is a terminal disease, affecting lungs and digestive system. An estimated 30,000 children and adults in the US are diagnosed with CF, 70,000 worldwide. This disease is not partial to specific individuals. It takes the lives of "Average Joe" newborns and adults every single day. Currently there is no cure. 

Victims of CF are born with a defective gene. This gene produces an above average amount of thick, sticky mucus. This mucus clogs the lungs and ultimately leads to life-threatening infection. The mucus also obstructs the pancreas and stops natural enzymes from helping the body break down food and absorb vital nutrient.

The symptoms of CF include: 

• Coughing Fits
• Causes Fever 
• Very salty-tasting skin
• Persistent coughing, at times with phlegm
• Frequent lung infections
• Wheezing or shortness of breath
• Poor growth and slow weight gain, in spite of a good appetite
• Frequent greasy, bulky stools or difficulty in bowel movements
• CF can cause infertility
• CF can cause diabetes 
• CF is also Completely Frustrating  

What does CF feel like?
Breathe through a straw for 60 seconds. When your lungs are killing you, that is CF. (According to an informational pamphlet.)

How does a person live with such an awful disease?!
The life expectancy of a CF victim used to be slim. Individuals would not live to see age 10. Thanks to modern medicine, technology, and funding, life expectancy is 40. A CF victim is allowed two lung transplants in their life. No more. They incur thousands of dollars in hospital bills (due to frequent hospital admittance), not to mention paying thousands of dollars a month for medication. Thanks to the new insurance stipulations, Cystic Fibrosis is now covered under insurance plans. 

What can you do to help? Excellent question!
You can donate monetarily
You can volunteer your time at any CF event
You can donate your organs (https://www.donatelifetexas.org/)
When you see someone coughing, do not make comments such as, "Go see a doctor." Be empathetic and compassionate to someone coughing. Offer them some water or simply smile at them without making a scene. Stay away from negative comments.
When you see someone who looks under weight or "malnourished," do not make any comments such as, "Go eat a steak." Be empathetic and compassionate to someone who may not look "healthy" in your eyes. Offer them a smile or a casual, "hello." Stay away from negative comments. 
Most importantly, you can say no to ignorance and say yes to awareness

Links to further your knowledge. Together, we can all make CF stand for CURE FOUND.
http://www.cff.org/aboutcf/
http://puffpufflive.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/builtcftough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1uaKWUTtrA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRoQH185nII