Wrap It Up, B. Wrap. It. Up.

**Title taken from an excerpt of "Chappelle's Show."**

Ah, the end of another year. Now would be the time to start stating some insight, possibly a cute quote or two, maybe even start listing 2014 resolutions. I do not have my own list of resolutions, nor will I list any, and do not really see a point in putting down a quote. I will, however, state some insight (obviously, since it is a blog.)

2013 was interesting. It started off well, had a few bumpy parts, but overall is ending pretty amazing. I traveled to places I had never been: Mississippi, Alabama, and Las Vegas. I bought my car on my very own and adopted my German Shepherd on my very own. I am employed as an administrative assistant at a bank in Garland (employed for one year) and am loving my work here. It has taken years for me to be finally at a job I love. That may not seem like much to some, but to me is quite an accomplishment, especially at the age of 29 and supporting myself.

If I were to pick out a favorite part of the year, I choose December. The holidays always bring out the sappy side of me, but December truly was an epic and my most favorite time span of the year. People are always in a rush to end the year so they can start over brand new and forget about the previous year. With that said, why do I choose December? It is a great way to end on a positive note. After years of horrible dates, relationships, just crap guys in general, my best friend found her soul mate. She is the happiest she has ever been and words can not do justice of how happy it makes me to see her so happy. The same applies to another best friend. She met her soul mate almost one year ago (also after years of horrible relationships, etc.), then married him shortly after Christmas. The pictures of their ceremony make me tear up with happiness and joy. I honestly CANNOT think of women more deserving of this love and happiness than these two.

I have the big 3-0 coming up in 2014. I did not think I would ever say this, but I am ready for it. I am excited, anxious, and ready to embrace what the year and that birthday both have in store. I have incredible friends, a fantastic, loving family, I look 18 and have the mindset of a 32-35 year old. To me, there is no better way to start off 2014. For those of you encountering trouble, despair, or a bad hand of cards, it only gets better from here. Always remember you have the support of friends and family to help you through your hard times. Do not hesitate to reach out to others. Ask for help, ask for a shoulder to lean on, ask for a listening ear. There is someone out there who will oblige, trust me. I hope you all have a safe, happy, and fun New Year! I leave you now with a picture, depicting my mood for the goodbye of 2013.

Having, Giving, Sharing, Receiving.

**The title is from a Friend's episode where Joey writes vows for Monica and Chandler. I found it appropriate for this post.**

It is difficult to believe that Christmas is already upon us. The $500,000 question seems to be, "Have you been naughty or nice?"

Reflecting back on 2013, both of those answers applies. Every single one of us has been both naughty and nice. Sadly, it feels as though more people are naughty than they are nice. I was recently told by someone, "You aren't very nice." That is probably because I would not give him what he wanted. Who cares. That is not the best attitude to have or maintain, but there are honestly bigger fish to fry. I am all for being nice, polite, etc. to everyone since everyone is dealing with personal issues or fighting some battle. The holiday season is also tough on a lot of people and can put a downer on celebration. (The holidays are tough on myself and my family.) However, that behavior of being nice and polite should be reciprocated at least some, regardless of what burden you carry or what battle you are fighting.

I have made several comments about giving cooked meals and hugs in lieu of materialistic Christmas gifts. When I make these comments, I am about 80% serious. This does not seem to sit well with some people and I am honestly not sure why. The true, real meaning of Christmas is not about materialistic presents, but is about love, togetherness, and fellowship. Christmas and the holiday season in general is about reaching out to others and showing love. As a country, we have lost sight of that. We get in fist fights to get our hands on the last PlayStation, shoot guns and hospitalize, or kill people to get our hands on the last 72" television, and we stab people with knives to get our hands on the last "must have gift of the year." This is not healthy, nor is this the mindset we should continue to have. This behavior is ludicrous!

Be thankful and grateful for what you already have. Give to others, not just now, but all year long and give to those less fortunate. I am not saying give expensive, materialistic gifts, but give the gift of love, a cooked meal, or even a hug. Share in the fellowship with your loved ones and actually MAKE THE TIME to meet up for coffee, or drinks, or a meal. When you receive a thoughtful gift, regardless of what it is, say thank you. Reciprocate with a hug.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, and overall a Happy Holiday! Spread some laughter, some smiles, and just overall spread some cheer. Who knows, maybe you will help make someone's day or someone's Christmas ten times better by this behavior. :)

Selectively Single

I have dated an array of guys since the age of 18. The stories I have would almost rival that of some Sex and the City episodes. Suffice to say, my selections of choice have been rather interesting and have all taught me what I ultimately am looking for in a companion. Since I am now 29-years-old and single, I get asked, "Why are you single?" This question always catches me off guard and I usually have some odd answer, if an answer at all. Due to recent events, I have taken a hiatus of sorts to fully evaluate the playing field and events thus far. I have deduced the following and have finally found an answer to this $500,000 question: I am selectively single.

*One guy would rather pine after his ex who cheated on him repeatedly, then do his best to move on and find someone who will not cheat and someone who would treat him well. It should also be noted that she takes provocative pictures of herself, showing half of her body to the world.
*One guy would rather use women for a good time, treating them all crappy, instead of "giving it the old college try" and turning a friendship into a relationship. He is also incapable of putting two and two together that when you treat a woman well and right, she will willingly want to stick around. If you are a jerk to her, she will want nothing to do with you. Instead of putting forth any effort of any kind to keep her around, he purposely chooses the jerk way.
*One guy speaks bingo instead of English. He also makes no efforts at all to "court" the woman and is always a last minute planner.
*One guy takes the woman out and they talk over beers and food. He sends a text message the next day, "I had a good time last night," then claims he is going out of town for a week for work. He did not include the words "I will not be able to be contacted" with that sentence, but we all know he still isn't capable of contacting. Nor does he want to. He has not bothered to contact the woman since.
*One guy dates the woman briefly, then phases her out. He phases her out, because he starts seeing someone else and they become serious. He fails to make the other woman privy to this. After one year or so of not speaking, he adds the woman back on Facebook, just so he can message her apologizing for his behavior. He then turns around and asks, "I know this is forward of me, but would you be interested in being involved in a pleasure only night for one night?"

So, for those of you who wonder why I am still single, I selectively choose to be. After stating the above scenarios, I like to think you can empathize with my decision. I would much rather be sitting home with my cat and dog, catching up on Mad Men, then have to deal with another moronic, lazy, boneheaded boy (not man). I understand that kissing toads is part of the game, but this is getting ridiculous. I can also empathize with married people, or people in relationships when they complain about their husbands or boyfriends not doing the dishes, or some minor issue, but at the end of the day you still have a companion, a friend, and that support at home. Try being in a single person's shoes for a little while. It is definitely a different world.

Homily

I was going through some items in my room at the parents' house tonight. I stumbled upon my scrapbook from high school and inside, found the sermon from Erin's May 18, 2002 funeral (the same exact day as my high school senior prom). For those of you who don't know, I lost my best friend and cousin, Erin MacKenzie Peck, when she was 18, due to a drunk driver. Suffice to say, this is the most difficult post I've ever written and will ever write. Many tears have been shed throughout the years (even now typing this), regarding our loss of such a precious person. Below is an excerpt from the sermon, spoken by Eric Moen, Youth Minister at Saint David's Episcopal Church in Austin, Texas. 11 years later and his words still deeply resonate within me. I miss you, weasel, every single day of my life, but you are always here with us.
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"Robert Louis Stevenson once said, 'So long as we are loved by others I should say we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he was a friend,' yet amidst the trials and tribulations of school work and projects, my largest obstacle and greatest satisfaction stem from finding time to relax with family and friends."

Thus begins a paper with a "Date Received JAN 04 2001" stamped at the bottom. Erin's assignment - personal essay for architecture applicants, Rice University - the topic: Outside of academics, what do you enjoy the most or find the most challenging?

Erin continues on with her story about how being an only child, she has a close relationship with her parents, always looking forward to Friday nights when the family would be most intentional about being together - that sacred time of going out to dinner - hectic schedules set aside - time to catch up with one another and be a family - time to relax and enjoy a much needed respite from the weekly stresses of school and work. That time together we all enjoy the most - being with the people we love.

What do you enjoy the most?? The ability to laugh and make someone laugh. Commenting on other people "acting so crazy" - youth group ski trip to Colorado and snow boarding for the first time. Butt busters so hard the groans melt to laughter and no, thank you, I don't need to see the bruise - just sit on your ice. 22 hours on a bus with Ben Folds Five playing in the earphones surgically implanted in the head, fashion mags causing peals of laughter and feigned shock at the questions asked in the surveys.

The love of the beach and a trip with family and friends. Checking out everyone who walks by and debating SPF's. Favorite sunglasses and guys with lots of back hair.

Working at Randalls and having no choice but to listen to the Dixie Chicks until you not only like them, but country music as well. A confidant to friends and fiercely loyal, always a blast to hang out with a sense of style to be greatly admired.

Shopping at J. Crew and Banana Republic. What could be more perfect. A sale of course.

Meeting friends and making friends at Mozart's, Magnolia Café - evenings full of chips and salsa and a table that wobbles. But only if the homework was done...

Seeking beauty in all her surroundings, the quest for style. Sketchbooks full of drawings, and assignment to "draw home" - she drew her cat and her butterfly chair - simple beauty reflected in relationships and an eye for fun.

Her fabulous Bob Newhart deadpan comic delivery, comedic timing way beyond her years. A funny accent, a quick laugh and a sweetness unmatched.

And so, Miss Erin, what do you enjoy most? Simple, it's relationships. Life is random and wonderful; it's being afraid to take a chance but taking it anyway - risking with yet another new group and coming out of it with a multitude of new friends. It's mystery; heartbreak; generosity; seeing goodness is everyone, and in helping it grow. It's feeling devastated knowing you disappointed a friend; happy when trust and respect have been restored. Life is empathy and risk; encouragement and disappointment; beauty and tragedy and joy. It's talking about boys and anticipating your college dorm room; and loving cats. Life is giving all that you have to every single moment; being a sister to a friend that wanted one; playing games with your parents; being late. Life is a gift. A fragile, precious, marvelous gift - soaked through with love and goodness and God-ness and love. It's having a mom who anticipates your every need and a father who is totally dedicated. It's walking into Vacation Bible School not knowing a single person; inviting all that life offers to get acquainted; embracing possibility with humor and trust, leaving regret at the door.

If you could be any insect, what would you be? "I would like to be a ladybug - not only are they beautiful insects, but they do good stuff for plants too."

Pay attention. Listen well. Hear and see and feel and become the conclusion to Erin's commentary on the challenge worth it all: "no matter how complicated it is to keep the bonds I have established with a close-knit group of family and friends, they are the ones that help keep me motivated when stress becomes overwhelming."

Crafter of memories. Sharper of hope. Forger of healing. Making a difference. Life filled with meaning - Erin - treasure of life.

If Erin were here today in the flesh, she'd say something dry and in a funny voice that would make us laugh. And then I think she would say, "What's all the fuss about? Go back to school. Get on with your lives. Be happy. Work hard and do well. Have fun. Be careful. And don't ever, ever forget me. I'm here - with you now and always. I'm as close as the tears on your face; as near as the ache in your heart. As vibrant as the memories we share; as hopeful of the future we planned for; as dependable as the smile you remember me by. Feel my presence in the hug of a friend. Hear my voice in laughter and fun. Know my goodness in every ladybug you see. Find my confidence in the caring you give away; my encouragement in the trust you have in other people. Get on with your lives, and take me with you. We are part of one another, forever."

Gremlin Advice

I went to Whiskey Cake today in Plano, to enjoy a delicious brunch. I was by myself, as usual, which is no big deal. The bartender serving me was quite attractive. We exchanged small conversation and he was polite. I enjoyed looking at him. There was minor flirtation going on, if even that. A random gentleman sat down beside me and noticed me observing the bartender. The gentleman claimed he was a "life coach" and paralleled himself to Will Smith in the movie "Hitch."  He proceeded to give me unwarranted advice on how to attract this bartender. I took what he had with a grain of salt, simply because he was a patron and I didn't know him from Adam. This lady, sitting on the other side of me, observed all of this and she also proceeded to give me unwarranted advice, not only with the bartender, but with this random "life coach."

The lady providing advice was a 52-year-old single woman. What she had to say was true and it was helpful. Little did she know, I've been receiving this same advice for years. She said she chose to be single, which to me indicated a red flag of sorts. Yes, she was nice and offered reasonable advice, but if you are in your 50s and you "choose to be single" why on earth are you providing me advice? I do not want to end up like you, let alone receive your advice on what to do and what not to do.

All I wanted to do was enjoy a delicious brunch, some tasty beverages, and admire the beautiful bartender eye candy in peace. I get so sick of "do this, don't do this, this is what you're doing wrong, this is what you should be doing instead" conversations. It's kind of like rules for Gremlins: "Don't water it, don't feed it after midnight, don't expose to sunlight." I understand third party observers try to help, but keep the advice to yourself, until being asked for your input. I know I'm young, I know I have a lot to offer, this is nothing new. Basically, if you see a person (a woman) by herself at a bar, at a coffee shop, anywhere in public, there is nothing wrong with making friendly conversation. Please, by all means, refrain from dating advice. It's honestly like a discussion of religion and politics: you just don't broach that subject. Unless I've known you for a little while, keep that opinion and advice to yourself.

The Dreaded 'D' Word.

I was told growing up, "You must kiss a lot of toads to find your prince." I'm not sure about you, but this princess is sick of the toads. I understand it's part of the dating game, but does this so-called "prince" even exist? I often made jokes that my "prince" either got hit by a bus or lost my address. Lately, it is believable those options are true.

Some of the best dating advice I've ever received is, "Have standards, not expectations." Since opening my eyes to this realization, I have a completely different dating outlook now. I haven't really been dating or going on dates, lately, but instead, have compiled my standards list. This has rendered helpful in searching for a significant other.

With this concept in mind, I went on my first date, in a little while yesterday. We went to the Dallas Arboretum, which was incredibly beautiful! He told me his parents made a surprise visit to Dallas (they live in Longview) so he pushed the date back to 2.30. No big deal. The red flag to me was that his parents drove all that way, yet somehow left at 2 and when I suggested we rain check, he said no. He brews his own kombucha, which was delicious. We each took a bottle with us to the Arboretum. While walking a few ways (because he didn't feel like spending $10 on parking) he said he gets weird looks when taking the bottles to school. I made the comment, "eh, just tell people it's hair of the dog." He did not know what that meant. We spoke some of hangovers, I told him, "I drink Pedialyte to cure mine" and he also had no clue what Pedialyte was. We arrive at the payment window where he used a Groupon to pay for his way. When the woman said, "That will be $25," he made a huge stink about the cost of my ticket, because the window stated $15. It was simple miscommunication, because she thought we parked at the Arboretum. (It should also be noted he griped and complained about having to pay extra toll tag tolls while we were walking towards the entrance.) We get inside, do some walking around, and I noticed a girl celebrating her Quinceanera. I made that comment, stating she looked beautiful, to which he replied, "That's racist." He supported that ignorant comment with a, "just kidding" remark. He made a few other ridiculous, immature comments along the way. When we walked toward the Arboretum, I was the one walking closest to the road, not him. Same way on the walk back to the car. This made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. After the date was over, he wanted to go back and check on the new kitten he had gotten, to make sure it was okay, then we'd eat afterwards. I told him, "No thanks. I'm heading home."

Here's the moral of my story: 1. Do not use a Groupon, or any coupon of sorts on a first date. 2. Do not gripe or complain about having to pay money for parking, or just gripe or complain about money in general on a first date. 3. If money is any issue at all, do not take a girl out on a date, even if it is low key. 4. Actually speak to the girl more frequently than once a week prior to a first date. 5. There are two people on a date. Do not make it all about yourself. Actually ask questions about the girl you take out to get to know her better. 6. When walking next to any road of sorts, it is common courtesy, nay, gentlemanly and chivalrous of the guy to be the one walking next to the road, not the girl.

Call me picky or what you will, but it's not rocket Science. I have standards and if a guy can not meet at least 3 of those right off the bat, then he'll never meet those standards. I will not have them stick around and they will not be given a second chance. I am 29-years-old and frankly, I don't have the patience to go on crappy dates or date crappy guys anymore. Life is way too short and there are way too many good guys willing to prove otherwise that not all guys are terrible. It is best to focus on that, instead.

The 20-Something-Year-Old Single

As a single woman, I tend to receive dating advice from time to time. Some of it is warranted, some of it is voluntary, all of it is inevitably absorbed. The advice can be an accepting breath of fresh air, or it can be a real downer, providing a harsh reality check.

Lately it seems as though the advice is arriving more frequently. Most everyone I know at this stage in life is engaged, married, married with 1 child, or married with 2+ children. At this point I ask myself, "Why on earth do weddings and dating advice correspond with each other? Is this some Murphy's Law joke?" Depending on how the 2-sided coin is viewed, it could be those individuals are trying to help you get where they are and find the happiness they found. They could also care about your well being and help you figure out what you truly want.

The advice is a thoughtful gesture, but at times it is overwhelming. It is even more overwhelming when paired with a Facebook news feed saturated with everyones next chapter. A sense of pressure tends to sneak up on me and makes me question where I am in my life journey and if the correct path was chosen. Those individuals mean well and ultimately want me to be happy, no matter what.

My next chapter may or may not be what someone else has, but will fit well, like my pair of Louboutins and will provide me extreme love, joy, and serenity.